Team America: Battle US
The Team America: Battle US Was A Movie And A Sequel To Team America. Plot The plot begins with a scene reminiscent of the opening of Star Trek. Team America had existed in the late 60s to early 70s, and the team sent in a special forces air craft to check a disturbence in the Atlantic Ocean. They find a UFO hovering over the ocean, and this UFO immdiately launches missles at the ship, unti Team America gets a voice message saying that their captain must meet with the UFO's captain. The captain is forced to comply and leaves young John Johnson in charge of the team. The captain enters via teleportation and meets the captain of an alien Cockroach race known as the Cock-a-roaches. After a few brief questions, The cockroach leader kills the captain and then both ships take evasive action. The Cock-a-roaches ship proves to be too powerful for Team America, so John Johnson orders the young Spottswoode to get every surviving member of Team America, espcially his pregtnant wife, Jessie, to the escape pods. John tries to get the aircraft to auto pilot towards the UFO, but the auto pilot function was destroyed, forcing him to do manual control, despite promising his wife that he would be in the escape pods. In the escape pod, their new baby girl is born and they decide to name it Mary after decideing the name Lauren was a retarded name. John and Jessie talk through screen communication, and John tells her that he loves her just before his graphic and drawn-out death in ramming the aircraft into the UFO, destroying both. The Cock-a-roach captain, however, manages to escape. Years later, we see the current Team America infiltrating Osama Bin Laden's compound, destroying most of Pakistan in the process. The Team puts Osama in a corner, and is being forced to surrender, but Osama warns the Team that they are fools if they think they have won, because even with his death, a powerful threat is approaching. Gary Johnston, the Team America leader, shoots down Bin Laden and then Lisa, his wife, reveals to him that she is pregnant. The moment is cut shirt, when two of Bin Laden's sons, Kadhija and Khalid, run into the scene and shoot at Gary, but at the last momute, Lisa pushes Gary out of the way of the bullets and takes the shots instead. The two sons are shot dead and a dying Lisa notes how this is exactly how Carson, her old flame, died. Gary and the other Team members then mourns the lost of Lisa. Months later, a new member was found by Spottswoode in a bar, singing a very racy song. Spottswoode recognizes her as Mary Johnson, daughter of the late great John Johnson. She is asked to join the Team, utilizing her singing abilities to coax terrorists into trusting her. Mary refuses at first, however, due to her not believing her father was originally part of special forces. When Spottswoode begins leave the bar, he is attacked by Casey Anthony, making him drop a picture. Mary kills Casey, saving Spottswoode's life, and she sees that the picture is of his parents with Spottswoode and the original Team America members, making her decide to join the Team. Mary Johnson meets the Team members Chris, Joe, and Sarah, the last of which feels nothing but contempt for Mary. Mary then meets Gary, and he begins to have feelings for her, but tries to push them out due to him not wanting to damage himself again. I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E. informs the Team that Muammar Gaddafi has alligned himself with the Bin Laden children in order to plan something. The Team makes it's way to Lybia, and Mary sings to distract the children while the Team attacks the base, destroying a good chunk of Lybia.After the fire-fight, however, it is revealed that Gaddafi was derailing the Team from the real forces of danger, the Cock-a-roaches of Gyron, lead by Kim Jong-Il, attacking America. Meanwhile, the Film Actors Guild (F.A.G.), lead by Clint Eastwood, is deciding what to do in retaliation for Team America murdering a few of their members. A Joker make-up wearing Michelle Williams, after stabbing Eddie Murphy in the eye with a pencil and slashing the cheeks and gums of Clint Eastwood, convinces the group to join forces with the Singers League of Unity Team (S.L.U.T.) and the Cock-a-roaches, which Lady Gaga reveals to be related to them. Back in Lybia, the Gary is trying to think of a plan to take the new foes down, but Mary decides to storm in and kill the Cock-a-roaches herself. Sarah wanted her to die, but Gary decides to save Mary. After a run in with some Cock-a-roaches and Sarah Palin, the Team reunites back at the base, where they learn that the Obamas suppositively made peace with the Cock-a-roaches. Spottswoode, while unsure about how true the claim is, tells the Team to take a break for tonight. At night, Sarah bashes Mary, calling her "stupidly bold" and said her singing voice makes whales eat eachother. The same night, Mary finds Gary masterbating on old videos of him and Lisa on summer vacation, playing in the beach and killing terrorists. Gary is appalled by his own behaviour after Mary makes herself present, but she simply tells Gary she knows what it's like to lose a loved one. She tells the story of her old boyfriend, Jake, whom she met when she first tried singing. One day, while singing in a lounge, a drunk throws a bottle at her, thinking she was a bird. Jake takes the hit instead, breaking open a part of his skull and instantly killing him. Mary's singing got Jake killed, and she had to live with this fact every single day. Gary feels more of a connection with Mary now, and proceeds to have a long, drawn-out, and vulgar sex scene.The meanwhile, after killing Carmen Electra and Rebecca Black in a scene reblicating Pan's Labyrinth, Michelle Williams and Lady Gaga bow down to Kim Jong-Ill, leader of the Cock-a-roaches. He wants revenge against Team America for ruining his perfect plans years ago. With the aid of Gaddafi and the surviving Bin Laden children, they reveal that they will us the Obamas in order to coax the humans into believing they are innocent, and then strike at their lowest point. The next day, after hearing a speech from Barrack, Team America thinks that something is fishy about the "peace", so they attempt to track down where the Cock-a-roaches are hiding. The Team ends up being ambushed a la I, Robot, but manage to survive it. After killing the almighty Morgan Freeman, Mary and Sarah begin to talk trash towards eachother, which leads into a fistfight after Sarah calls her singing "BS splurting out the ass", but Gary stops the fight. Mary decides that teamwork is stupid and is going to fight this war on her own, saying that no one close would be killed that way. Chris and Gary attempt to talk to Sarah, stating that they themselves argued with eachother before, but it did nothing to help the Team. Sarah does not seem to listen, however. In the meantime, Michelle Williams decides that it would help the F.A.G. if Team America's leader got killed, so she gathers a few of the cohorts together, use Lady Gaga to find out who is the leader and where he is, and then go to his house. Spottswoode is inside, talking to Mary over the phone, reinacting a scene from Watchmen, stating that she is making a big mistake leaving the Team, but she believes that she will save the Team by working alone. Mary then hangs up, and suddenly, Michelle Williams and her cohorts break his door down and begins to fight Spottswoode. He sees the F.A.G. as Adolf Hitler, Joseph Stalin, Benito Mussolini, Hideki Tōjō, Fidel Castro, Mao Zedong, Idi Amin, and Eva Braun. Spottswoode ends up being killed by Michelle Williams slaming her late husband's Best Supporting Actor Oscar into his face. I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E. breaks the news to the Team, causing them to cry. I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E., however, reveals to the Team that Spottswoode already set up a replacement incase he ever passed on. The replacement turned out to be Jean Francois, who first saw Team America in France back in 2004 as a little boy. Jean said that he at first thought that Team America was a threat, a plague, a monster, a fraud, a curse, a disease, etc., until he saw the speech that Gary made on television, making him realize that Team America is actually very good, and later, after hearing that he was a canidate for being the successor of Spottswoode, he accepted. Jean tells the Team that he has already gone ahead and found out that the Cock-a-roaches are going to use S.L.U.T. to control everybody on the planet, turning them into slaves. The Team decides that they'll need to show the Obamas that the Cock-a-roaches are lying to them. I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E. then tells the Team to hurry, because he has just heard that Mary is going to go and kill the Obamas. We cut to Mary carrying a rifle, and locking on to Barack Obama, mimicing the scene from Terminator 2: Judgement Day. Barack dogdes the bullet just in the nick of time, and he and Michelle run for safety. Mary gets the two cornered and is about to shoot, but Team America crashes in just as Mary is an inch from pulling the trigger. Sarah kicks the gun out of Mary's hands and begins to yell at her. The boys quickly calm Sarah down and explain to the Obamas that the Cock-a-roaches are just lying to them in order to get the public's trust. The Obamas do not believe the Team at first, but suddenly, a few Cock-a-roach soldiers attack the Team, and the battle ends with one of the Cock-a-roaches slitting Michelle's throat. This causes Barack to decide to join the Team to correct his own wrong-doings. Barack grabs the "PeaceMaker" from Jak II, and he leads the Team to where the Cock-a-roaches ship is. The Team finds out, however, that S.L.U.T. is getting ready to perform their concert. Gary tells Mary that she should go and sing so that the people will listen to the Team, but Sarah still feels that she cannot do jack. Mary ignores her and goes off to the stage, she enters through backstage, and is then getting criticized by the members of S.L.U.T. This briefly makes her feel unable to do anything, and making her flashback to her boyfriend's death. When they called her singing voice "BS splurting out the ass", however, Mary goes berserk and, Big Daddy from Kick-Ass style, slaughter's all of the S.L.U.T. members present. Mary makes it on stage and finds Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber have already gotten the control of the people. Mary, however, gets told by Gary from a ledge that she is the best singer he's ever heard, and then she begins to sing, causing to audience to go on stage and rip Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber apart. The Team leads this army to a Saving Private Ryan styled battle. Gaddafi and the Bin Laden children all get blown to smitherines by Kim Jong-Ill, saying he does not need them anymore. The Team manages to corner F.A.G.'s new leader, Michelle Williams, where she reveals that she found out that it was Team America that caused the death of her late husband, Heath Ledger. Gary admis that it is true, for Heath found out about certain secrets of Team America, which they could not let him keep. Angelina Jolie, Jennifer Aniston, Jon Voight, and Brad Pitt suddenly show up, all fighting and clawing eachother apart, distract Team America long enough for Michelle to shoot at Sarah. Mary, however, pushes Sarah out of the way and takes the bullet instead. Gary, out of rage, machine guns Michelle's forehead, making it explode. The Team cries for Mary, who, in a spoof of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, is transported to Team America's heaven, where Lisa, Spottswoode, Carson, and John Johnson are all residing. Lisa tells Mary that she is proud to have her as the replacement, Spottswoode tells Mary to think up a plan, John gets to have quality time with his daughter for the first and last time, and Carson tells Mary to send his regards to Gary. Mary is suddenly revived, and Sarah tells Mary she no longer hates her. The Team enter the ship, where a Cock-a-roach steals the PeaceMaker, and Mary chases to get it. The remaining Team makes it to the main control room, where Kim Jong-Ill is, with his Cock-a-roach guards and the remaining F.A.G. and S.L.U.T. members. Mary gets the PeaceMaker back and, in another scene just like I, Robot, gets into a fight with Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, and Kristen Stewart. Mary makes it through the carnage and throws the PeaceMaker to Barack. He gets shot, but is able to hold on to the gun and charge it up. Gary gets shot in the leg, and Kim Jong-Ill goes up to his face, sayng that "He has rost." Gary, however, notices a hole next to him, and pulls Kim Jong-Ill down with him, just like Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2. They fight while falling just like Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, and in the end, Gary finally kills Kim Jong-Ill. The Team tries to save Gary, but are forced to run out of the ship. Madonna, Britney Spears, and Christina Aguilera try to follow them, but Barack, in another like Terminator 2: Judgement Day, finally dies, releasing the energy of the PeaceMaker to the ship's main energy source, causing the entire ship, and everything on it, to explode. The Team escapes, but they think that Gary is dead. Whewn the dust begins to settle, however, Gary reveals to still be very much alive. Sarah tells Mary that she underestimated her and her talents, and now realizes how valuble she is. Gary decides that Mary is the right replacement for Lisa, so, years later, they end up with two children, named Jake Johnson and Lisa Johnston. Voice cast * Trey Parker as Gary Johnston / Carson / Joe / Kim Jong-il / Kim Young-sook / Song Hye-rim / Ko Young-hee / Kim Ok / Kim Sul-song / Kim Jong-nam / Kim Jong-chul / Kim Jong-un / Martin Sheen / Charlie Sheen / Gary Oldman / Woody Allen / Jake Gyllenhaal / Johnny Depp / John Travolta / Tom Cruise / Jeremy Renner / Ben Affleck / Woody Harrelson / Bradley Cooper / Phillip Seymour Hoffman / Robin Williams / Alan Arkin / Chris Cooper / Dustin Hoffman / Christopher Plummer / John Cusack / Jim Carrey / Dennis Quaid / Randy Quaid / Ken Watanabe / Cillian Murphy / Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson / Mark Wahlberg / Ryan Goslin / Peter O'Toole / Adrien Brody / Marc Anthony / Gene Hackman / Tobey Maguire / Joaquin Phoenix / Jack Black / Ewan McGregor / Bruno Mars / Mike Myers / John Malkovich / Colin Farrell / Robert Redford / Will.i.am / Apl.de.ap / Taboo / Elton John / Ozzy Osbourne / Sharon Osbourne / Jack Osbourne / Kelly Osbourne / Liam Neeson / Simon Pegg / Russell Brand / Eric Bana / Anton Yelchin / John Mayer / Hugh Jackman / Sacha Baron Cohen / Steve Martin / Lil Wayne / Sarah Jessica Parker / Kristin Davis / Cynthia Nixon / Kim Cattrall / Dan Aykroyd / Ed Harris / Val Kilmer / Nicolas Cage / Steve Tyler / Gene Simmons / Russell Crowe / Jackie Earle Haley / Billy Crudup / Geoffrey Rush / Jim Broadbent / Michael Douglas / Michael Bay / Christian Bale / Harrison Ford / Michael Fassbender / Ashton Kutcher / Liza Minnelli / Barbra Streisand / Cher / Eric Roberts / Drunk in Bar / Other voices * Matt Stone as Chris / Warren Beatty / Steve Carrell / Tom Hardy / Joseph Gordon-Levitt / Tim Burton / Leonardo DiCaprio / Jude Law / Kevin Bacon / R. Kelly / Viggo Mortensen / Chris Brown / Sam Worthington / Adam Sandler / Owen Wilson / Ralph Fiennes / Seth Rogen / Mickey Rooney / Orlando Bloom / Kurt Russell / Jamie Foxx / Robert Downey Jr. / Usher / Brendan Fraser / Ryan Reynolds / Karl Urban / Nick Frost / Eddie Murphy / Daniel Craig / Hugo Weaving / Jeff Bridges / Richard Dreyfuss / Christopher Walken / John C. Reilly / James Franco / Jame McAvoy / Sylvester Stallone / Brad Pitt / Bruce Willis / Ke$ha / Lindsay Lohan / Other voices * Tara Strong as Mary Johnson / Cock-a-roaches / Maggie Gyllenhaal / Ellen Page / Katie Holms / Uma Thurman / Anne Hathaway / Naomi Watts / Christina Aguilera / Zooey Deschanel / Jennifer Garner / Abigail Breslin / Jessica Alba / Jessica Biel / Kelly Preston / Michelle Pfeiffer / Other Voices * Kristen Miller as Lisa * Masasa as Sarah * Daran Norris as Spottswoode / Tom Hanks / Dick Van Dyke / Vince Vaughn / Hugh Laurie / Willem Dafoe / William Shatner / Anthony Hopkins / Jon Voight / Jack Nicholson / Paul Reubens / Michael Bolton / Roman Polanski / Tommy Lee Jones / Robert De Niro * Phil Hendrie as I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E. * Maurice LaMarche as Clint Eastwood / Enrique Iglesias / Kneau Reeves / Leonard Nimoy / Kevin Spacey / Bill Murray / Ben Stein / Mel Gibson / Daniel Day-Lewis / Javier Bardem / David Bowie / Mickey Rourke / Al Pacino / Ben Kingsley * Jeremy Shada as Jean Francois * Ashleigh Ball as Angelina Jolie / Sharon Stone / Melissa Leo / Cameron Diaz / Kate Hudson / Penélope Cruz / Goldie Hawn / Annette Bening / Hailee Steinfeld / Julianne Moore / Jennifer Connelly / Sandra Bullock / Taylor Swift / P!nk / Avril Lavigne / Demi Moore / Marisa Tomei / Hilary Swank / Scarlett Johansson / Charlize Theron / Gwyneth Paltrow / Dolly Parton / Joan Cusack / Michelle Rodriguez / Meg Ryan / Lily Tomlin / Jessica Simpson / Other Voices * Andrea Libman as Jessie Johnson / Michelle Williams / Jennifer Aniston / Drew Berrymore / Helena Bonham Carter / Julia Roberts / Amy Adams / Dakota Fanning / Elle Fanning / Sarah Palin / Ellen DeGeneres / Kristen Stewart / Sigourney Weaver / Robert Pattinson / Taylor Lautner / Lucy Liu / Daryl Hannah / Jodie Foster / Tina Fey / Kirsten Dunst / Renée Zellweger / Selena Gomez / Jennifer Lawrence / Betty White / Winona Ryder / Reese Witherspoon / Sean Astin / Natalie Portman / Geena Davis / Ashlee Simpson / Adam Lambert / Marion Cotillard's French dialogue / Other Voices * Cathy Weseluck as Justin Timberlake / Katy Perry / Daniel Radcliffe / Rupert Grint / Elijah Wood / Jesse McCartney / NKOTBSB / Maroon 5 / Justin Bieber / Other Voices * Tabitha St. Germain as Jennifer Lopez / Catherine Zeta-Jones / Nicole Kidman / Sissy Spacek / Diane Keaton / Megan Fox / Marion Cotillard / Faye Dunaway / Mia Farrow / Ann-Margaret / Fergie / Kate Winslet / Keira Knightley / Cate Blanchett / Emma Watson / Helen Mirren / Glenn Close / Jane Fonda / Meryl Streep / Julie Andrews / Tilda Swinton / Judi Dench / Andie MacDowell / Anna Paquin / Eva Mendes / Jamie Lee Curtis / Emily Blunt / Other Voices * Cree Summer as Lady Gaga / Zoe Saldana / Oprah Winfrey / Whoopi Goldberg / Vivica A. Fox / Mo'Nique / Beyoncé / Rihanna / Sophie Okonedo / Gwen Stefani / Jennifer Hudson / Alicia Keys / Halle Berry / Nicki Minaj / Viola Davis / Octavia Spencer / Whitney Houston / Adele / Angela Bassett / Missy Elliott / Queen Latifah / Jada Pinkett Smith / Jaden Smith / Willow Smith * Grey DeLisle as Christina Ricci / Carrie Underwood / Nelly Furtado / Rachel Weisz / Kelly Clarkson * Jodi Benson as Rosie O'Donnell * Nicole Oliver as Michelle Obama / Shakira * Abbey DiGregorio as Lacey Chabert / Jamie Lynn Spears * Ikue Ōtani as Zhang Ziyi * Kath Soucie as Miley Cyrus * Jill Talley as Shirley MacLaine * Carolyn Lawrence as Mariah Carey / Kathy Bates * Rodger Bumpass as Ben Stiller / Jerry Stiller / Anne Meara * Carlos Alazraqui as Hector Elizondo / Richard Gere * Jeff Glen Bennett as Kanye West * Monika Antonelli as Justin Bieber's singing voice / Spice Girls * Joe Morton as Barack Obama * Cathy Cavadini as Madonna * E.G. Daily as Britney Spears * Liliana Mumy as Rebecca Black * Lauren Tom and Janice Kawaye as Bin Laden wives * Nicky Jones and Pamela Aldon as Bin Laden children * Sean Schemmel as Eminem * Christopher R. Sabat as Pitbull * Jason Marsden as Chris Pine / Zachary Quinto * Robbie Rist as Coldplay * Jaleel White as Chris Rock * Christopher Evan Welch as Jesse Eisenberg / Michael Cera / Jonah Hill / Christopher Mintz-Plasse * Christy Carlson Romano as Dianna Agron / Ashley Fink / Lea Michele / Heather Morris / Amber Riley / Naya Rivera / Jenna Ushkowitz * Will Friedle as Chord Overstreet / Kevin McHale / Chris Colfer / Darren Criss / Cory Monteith / Mark Salling / Harry Shum, Jr. * Nancy Cartwright as Jane Lynch * Tom Kenny as Garry Shandling / Kevin Costner * Phil LaMarr as Terrence Howard / Don Cheadle * Kevin Michael Richardson as Will Smith / Timbaland * Fred Tatasciore as Denzel Washington / Robert Duvall / Harvey Keitel / Laurence Fishburne / Ian McKellen / Michael Caine / Christopher Lee / Morgan Freeman / Harry Belafonte / Nick Nolte / Jay-Z / Colin Firth / Forest Whitaker / Alan Rickman / Arnold Schwarzenegger / Christoph Waltz * Frank Welker as Osama bin Laden / Muammar Gaddafi * Mark Hamill as Steven Spielberg / Christopher Nolan / James Cameron / J.J. Abrams * Maryke Hendrikse as Casey Anthony / Cock-a-roaches * Kathleen Barr as Carmen Electra * Chris Hemsworth as John Johnson * Rick Astley as Himself (uncredited) * Haddaway as Himself (uncredited) Video Game The Video Game Of Team America: Battle US References to popular culture Category:Movies